Re-thinking a couple of things after feedback

In my previous post  about the inspiration for the project, there are stories associated with artefacts, boxes etc. I stated an example regarding the dybbuk from the 1970s: a possessed woman who was being "choked" by the necklace she was wearing. This necklace had been given to her by a parent, her father, who had committed incest with her. In addition, the father held her over the throat when he did that to her. I had feedback from peers that the synopsis was not cleared up and so I decided to change it.

For my story, "A 10 year old girl in 2002 had lost her family, she was taken into care and as a result; she became mentally unstable. She envied those who had happy families and all that kept her happy was this incense stick box with weird carvings that her parents bought her before she lost them. She would often write little messages on paper and put them in the box as a good luck charm. The carers became increasingly concerned and confiscated it from her. She became so angry and ran away, nobody had head from her since...until now." So the dybbuk which is associated with the box is that 10 year girl and is seeking revenge on those who are happy families and will cling to the subject who she sees as most happy.


Another piece of Feedback was that I could elborate on the scene where Danny is lying on the ground and you can see the shadow of Alx's hair. Ryan suggested to me that this idea is german expressionism so I decided to create some power point slides looking in to this.